Research has shown that over 90% of our waking day we are running on autopilot using habits and habit chains to react to external stimulus. So, that made me wonder how could/can I optimize that 90% of time so that the 10% of the time I’m truly aware of the preset moment and in control is as awesome as possible? How about you?
Our brains are an amazing and efficient organ. The most complex organ in the entire body as a matter-of-fact. The brain uses approximately 20% of the bodies total energy usage, or about 100 carbs of energy per day for the average person. So it truly needs to be efficient in every way that it can in order to survive.
A big part of how the brain is so efficient is that it creates habits for things we do all the time. Have you ever driven to work or home and not remembered all of the trip? That’s because your brain has created habits and can effortlessly chain them together to accomplish common daily tasks that you do. Something even as complicated as navigating a vehicle through traffic on your way to work. That’s especially incredible to me when I think about all the vehicles, traffic lights, stop signs, yield signs, pedestrian crosswalks, etc. that need to be navigated.
Now that we’ve established how amazing our brains are, why should we pay attention to our habits? Because while habits are efficient and allow automation, they may not be in alignment with what we want out of our lives. Many of them have been made without us being consciously aware of it.
Do you hit the snooze button too many times every day? Snack too much on a busy day without thinking about it? Stay up too late every night and wake up too late after hitting that aforementioned snooze button a bit too much? All habits.
Ok, so you’re probably starting to see these habits and chains of habits that you want to change. Before you jump into a let’s change and optimize it all mindset, let’s take a look at a few things I think you’ll want to be aware of and I’ll share one of my own habit forming experiences. Then you can use the insight to come up with a solid plan on how to make some positive and lasting changes to your habits if you choose. Since you’re still reading, I’m guessing you’re going to want to do just that.
Habit Facts
- Research has shown that it takes approximately 40 continuous successful days to create a new habit. Mess up your habit on any given day and the clock starts over from Day 1.
- Habits and habit chains are created by your subconscious mind with a perception of keeping you safe and alive. Changing these habits wholesale is at worst impossible and at best extremely difficult. UNLESS you can slowly change the way your brain perceives those things by modifying your thought habits.
- Willpower is an exhaustible resource. So as humans, we need to be careful about how we measure that out. In other words, trying to bully through a huge change typically does not work. As you’ll see below.
Ok, now that you’ve got that information, I’m going to be vulnerable to you and share a thought habit change process that took me about 6 months.
Problem
I used to be an unhappy driver. That person that I perceived pulled out in front of me too closely made me angry. The person that I thought was tailgating me pissed me off. Heaven forbid someone would “only” go the speed limit in front of me when I was running late for an appointment.
First Attempt
I realized that these were all just perceptions on my part. So, I took my early knowledge about 40 days to a new habit and decided I was simply going to be happy. My first attempt failed quite spectacularly but I learned a lot! I started out every morning doing great because I was using my willpower and being very conscious of everything. After a 10-14 hour stint of using my brain, the drives home never went my way for more than a few days.
After a month and not getting to more than day 3 in my habit, I realized there was a problem. So back to the research machine and a new plan for my N=1 habit experiment.
Why My First Attempt Failed
I realized that being an angry driver wasn’t a habit, it was an outcome of 3 habits. So I broke down the 3 habits and what was causing them:
- Another driver pulling out in front of me
I was and am a very driven person. I was perceiving the action of a driver pulling out in front of me (at almost any distance that I could still read their license plate at) as getting ahead of me and winning. - Another driver tailgating me
I perceived this as a threat to my safety. Even when they were obviously very aware of what they were doing and had a vehicle that could react far quicker than mine. - Another driver going slower than I wanted to go
I felt that it was their fault I was going to be late. Even though me running late was what really caused them.
So I had to handle not 1, but 3 habits in order to take care of the angry driver.
Correcting Course and Achieving Success
I was able to use Compassion, Perception Checking, Taking Responsibility for my actions and to be aware so I could in the moment disrupt the undesirable habit and replace it with a desirable habit.
- Another driver pulling out in front of me
I was able to overcome this one with a 2 prong approach- Compassion for the driver who pulled in front of
me
I took the time to question my perception of their motives and put myself in their shoes. Are they late for work? Did they just receive bad news? Is this just a habit drive and they aren’t even aware of what they are doing? If it were me, I’d want someone else to understand and not think negatively of me.
- An understanding that while I cannot control the world around me, it is my freedom and responsibility to control how I react to these situations. I needed to be aware of that during these times.
- Compassion for the driver who pulled in front of
me
- Another driver tailgating me
This took a 3 prong approach- Overcoming the danger response with a perception
check
Is the driver so close that I am in imminent danger? The answer to almost every one of these situations turned out to be that I was safe.
- Compassion for the other driver
Thoughts like “Is this a habit that they are chained to?” and “I don’t know what their day is like, maybe they just got news that a loved one is passing.” Helped me to break the automatic habitual response and choose to feel compassion.
- An understanding that while I cannot control the
world around me, it is my freedom and responsibility to control how I react to
these situations. I needed to be aware of that during these times.
- Overcoming the danger response with a perception
check
- Another driver going slower than I wanted to go
Another 3 prong approach- Taking Responsibility myself for leaving late
It’s not the other driver’s fault that I’m running late. The owner of that is me. If I would have left earlier I’d be on time.
- Compassion for myself
“I’m a human being, don’t I deserve to be on time and worry free instead of late and stressed? Yes I do!” I thought about that a lot as I was getting ready to leave for appointments during my experiment.
- An understanding that while I cannot control the world around me, I have the freedom to control my own actions or lack of them. This one turned out to be me having the habit of taking responsibility for my own schedule. I left late. If someone isn’t going fast enough for me to be barely on time at best or less late at worst needed to be on me.
- Taking Responsibility myself for leaving late
By perception checking, working on compassion for other drivers, and taking responsibility for my actions and reactions, I was able to disrupt my bad habits, short circuit the “subconscious survival reasoning/purpose” of my habits as required, and replace them with my desired habits. This wasn’t easy or fast, but the satisfaction of becoming the person I want to be is an indescribably wonderful and fulfilling feeling. As an added bonus, I now give myself plenty of time to get to my destination and I truly enjoy being on the road with my wonderful fellow drivers again!
Are you ready to make that 90% of your waking time more productive and change a few habits? Remember to identify, experiment/attempt, correct, and repeat as required. You are your own N=1 experiment. Make it an amazing one!
That’s it! Thank you for reading! If you’re looking for more help in optimizing your own life and would like to engage my services, or have an idea for a blog post, feel free to contact me.
Wishing you happiness, health, and success!
-Gregg
